the shack

yesterday, i stayed up until about 1:30am to finish reading a book, given me by my dear friend Carl, called "the shack", by william p. young.  he stipulated that he would only give it to me if i promised to tell him what i thought; so, as there is much to ponder from its really beautiful depiction of god in relationship, with himself and with humans, here is the first response of several to his request.

"In seminary he had been taught that God had completely stopped any overt communication with moderns, preferring to have them only listen to and follow sacred Scripture, properly interpreted, of course.  God's voice had been reduced to paper, and even that paper had to be moderated and deciphered by the proper authorities and intellects." pg 66

i was flipping thru' the flair application on facebook today and found a quote from one of my favorite movies, the princess bride: the Sicilian is being pursued by the dread pirate roberts and the pirate is gaining on him, and as the pirate conquers one challenge after the other, he keeps saying one word, "inconceivable!" until finally his partner says "you keep saying that word.  i do not think it means what you think it means."  it struck me that maybe we keep saying a lot of "spiritual" theological words, and they do not mean what we think they mean - words like inspiration, infallibility, predestination, among others - what if in scripture god was trying to express from an infinite mind to a finite one what true relationship was meant to be, and we keep trying to boil that expression down into systems so that we can understand it instead of simply trusting what we do not completely grasp and living in it?  we seem to give lip service to "lean not on your own understanding" and then spend a great deal of time & energy judging "spirituality" & relationship according to our own understanding.

anyway, i haven't reached any conclusions about the above words one way or the other, except that my own understanding, & others', must always be suspect - we see thru' a glass darkly, and if i know for certain what has been a source of mystery for biblical scholars thru' the ages, what need is there to go back to the source to find the answer?  our systems of understanding god and scripture seem to have pushed us further into religion and further from relationship and dependence, which seem to be the point of scripture in the first place?

I love living in the city

right now, i'm sitting on monument circle, watching & listening to the fountain and also an elderly bucket drummer w/ more enthusiasm than skill :) but great fun to watch, especially as he has his granddaughter with him.  i biked down to go to borders for an afternoon of reading - francis chan's crazy love, and andy crouch's culture making: recovering our creative calling.  in the background, the bells are ringing from one of the old churches downtown, the sun is shining, skies are blue, harley guys are riding by on really gorgeous bikes, next to us pseudo-urban types on our bicycles.  A man in a gorgeous MG convertable just drove by w/ a giant costumed camel head in the passenger seat, waving at everyone.  The drummer's wife is sitting at a cafe table drinking coffee as her husband picks up a semi-steady beat and proceeds to yell "we will, we will, ROCK YOU" at random intervals, and i wonder if i will have enough love in me at that point in a marriage to stand proudly by my husband as he does something equally embarrassing, simply because he loves it.  i hope so.

old friends & new ones

Below are pictures from my friends', Aaron & Glori, wedding.  It was such a fun, beautiful, sacred day...even without the mighty wind of His breath, God's joy in that day would have been unmistakable.  Glo, you got your something blue! :)  It rained in the morning, was overcast for photos, and by the time the wedding came around, it was a glorious sunny, "breezy" day!

For the full effect (except the ceremony, which I was in :), here's a link to my album on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=128793&l=3a67c&id=870245023 

School is Out! and other miscellany

Yay, I'm free! :)  2 classes down, 35 to go... the lovely thing about going back to school after a 12 yr hiatus is that they scrap your old GPA and you get to start again...as of this moment, I have a 4.0 :) - A in art history 101 and A+ in metalsmithing & jewelry design.  Below is a photo of my final project, a spoon w/ a list of required components & dimensions, and a packet of materials handed out by my instructor w/ the stipulation that there be no left overs! :(  The biggest challenge was coming up with a design that didn't look like it should have been edited, but I like the zen feel of it.  I'll post photos of the lite-brite ring when I get it back from my prof...

With classes over, I had last Sunday afternoon free, so my friend Bethany & I walked the Canal downtown - this is one of my favorite places in Indy...

Spring is Here!

2 weeks ago, I went with a friend to the Eli Lilly House greenhouses at the IMA to enjoy the first sunny 70 degree day of spring (we have had several since then!).  We brought our cameras b/c we both desperately needed the practice, and here are some of the results:

Favorite Day

I got one of those Q&A email quizzes last week from a friend - you know, the ones that want to know your favorite CD, what's under your bed, vanilla or chocolate, what color underwear you're wearing (gosh, was that embarrassing :)...  One of the questions was what's your favorite day of the week, and tho' I would have expected it to be Saturday or Friday, for obvious reasons, to my surprise, I found in thinking about it that I actually look forward to Sunday the most.  Nathan's worship that always surprises me and lifts me up, the community of our church - the confession & response together as a body, Jason's teaching that never takes for granted that we're all in the same place of understanding, the acknowledgement of each one's place in the body, from the children to the artists :).

This morning it was the personal nature of communion, which we take every Sunday - the challenge of it not becoming a commonplace ritual placed on me as an act of consciousness & grace, rather than a convenience of scarcity & timing.  Several communion servers stand at the front and we approach them row by row to receive the bread and wine/grape juice.  This morning I received the bread from our pastor, Jason, who miraculously always seems to know everyone's name, including mine.  This morning he looked at me, as I'm sure he did with each participant, and said, "Jennifer, you are justified by the finished work of Christ."  

I don't know why it was so profoundly moving & suddenly real to me this morning, since it is a phrase I have grown up with in church.  I think maybe because it was spoken to me personally, physically, specifically, an aspect that seems lacking in my faith & that I continue to wrestle with; maybe because I have been on several levels testing my freedom in Christ, and have recently found myself looking over the edge of temptation's precipice - to be affirmed that my acceptance and standing is not based on my choice in those times draws me further from the edge, not closer to it, and brings profound comfort, maybe what I've been looking for in the first place.  I think my response was also grounded in Nathan's song he offered as we came forward:

The gospel is all I have.

The gospel is all I have.

No well-kept presentable life to display.

The gospel is all I have.

The gospel is all I have.

The gospel is all I have.

No courage.  No virtuous bold use of faith.

The gospel is all I have.

Well, the Lord God Almighty leapt down from the sky,

and he made himself nothing and served till he died,

so that I, just a beggar, at the Judgement might cry,

"The gospel is all I have!"

The gospel is all I have.

The gospel is all I have.

No merit to offer.  No excuses to make.

The gospel is all I have.

The gospel is all I have.

The gospel is all I have.

No clever persuasive words I could say.

No debt I could work off.  No bribe I could pay.

No goodness.  No promise of love that won't fade.

The gospel is all I have.

The gospel is all I have.

In the midst of several weeks of desperately wanting something beyond what I have right now, today I understand, at least for this moment, that Jesus is the satisfaction of all that I am longing for - my justifier, my defender, the knower of my heart, the lover of my soul.

Family

I was just catching up on reading family/friends' blogs and got "homesick" reading my stepmom's blog (www.jacksonwanderings.blogspot.com).  I didn't realize how much I missed them, and how much I can't wait to see them in May! (& Jeff & Ade :)  God is good isn't he?  I'm so thankful tonight for the love & fun of friends & family, and the added sweetness of sharing truth & reality in Him.  Thursday I get to spend some time with Lori, my "adopted mom", as she flies out of Indy to Cali to see Jeff & Ade & the kids.  I'd normally work during the time she will be here, but by the blessing of God, I have 3 1/2 hrs for an early lunch to catch up and be blessed by her sweet fellowship!  I miss my friends & family so far away, but that makes the time together that much sweeter...5 weeks to California & Dad & Becky & Marshall!!!