Thursday, August 6, 2009

Joy & Sadness can coexist

Not a stunning revelation, I know, but this past weekend was a timely reminder.  

I went back to Elkhart/South Bend for the celebration service of my friend Glori's dad, Bill Goheen.  He had been fighting lymphoma for 6 months, until July 26th, when he went home to the Father & God he spent his adult life serving.

I remember dinners & game nights in the Goheen's home, talking about what God might be doing, what He could do, what He wanted all of us to do - a financial Bible study, exploring career & school choices, current possibilities in a frustrating vocation.  We also laughed a lot, and cheered on Notre Dame (usually unsuccessfully :) He raised money for me to go to Urbana 3 years ago, a missions conference that helped me see some of what God could use me for as an artist, a trip that strengthened my resolve to step out in faith, and that ended up with me in Indy in art school.  He offered a different perspective on my questions about who God was & what He wanted, and gave me a safe but challenging place to ask them.

His passion for work as ministry & mission was profound, and he shared his enthusiasm with numerous of his children's friends, including me.  I have a list of names in my head who were similarly challenged & helped by his perspective & encouragement.

So when I say I am sad, I am saddened that his particular perspective & enthusiasm are no longer part of my world.  Even more, I am saddened this was the end of his physical presence in Glori's, Karen's, Caleb's, & Joshua's lives, and at the loss that came too soon.

But I found joy too.  If you could have heard the words of friends & family about Bill - as a husband & father he never gave his family a cause to doubt his faithfulness & commitment; as a child of God he passionately pursued, until the very end and with all of his strength, the vision & calling of his Saviour; as a businessman, his integrity & professionalism were beyond reproach; as a father, he passed all of this & more onto his children. 

Like a lot of us, I work in a lost place with lost people, who do not really believe in the hope & promise of change.  Listening to Bill's friends & family, and remembering my own experiences of his time & wisdom, I have joy knowing that God has the power to change lives for the better, for joy, for peace, for love & fun, and He fulfills that promise to those ask & seek Him.  My expectations, for myself and the one (unknown) who might someday share my life, were raised, not for my glory & satisfaction, but for God's.

A difficult weekend, but one full of hope & promise & grace, of sadness & joy.